Come. My Friend

By Gener


Where have you been my friend
I'd been waiting for you many moons ago
And you never came 
And you never dared to call,
In my angst I let you know I missed you
Gave you a clap in the ear
A splash in the face
A painting to trigger your vision.

But you went away
Never bid me goodbye
Shut down the memories of our friendship
No letters, no thank you, no hellos,
I became sad for I longed for your presence
In those nights we used to talk endlessly
In those mornings when you me woke up with a sigh
In those mid-day concerns you posed to me.

And then I heard the bad news about you
How you got sick and how you lost a child
How you were kicked out of a precious job
How you missed on payments on the house,
How friends abandoned you and then
Your spouse left you for another
Your parents gave up on your insolence
Your relatives disinherited you of their love.

My friend why wait for these gloom before knocking on my door
Why settle for the bad 
Why heap countless woes on people who cared for you
Why throw the years we'd known each other
And take the side of my foe,
My friend and beloved you are also my child
I never stopped thinking about you for a second
I was just waiting for you to call on me again.

Lest you've forgotten my name
I am Jesus

I am your best friend forever. 

God's Little Children

By Gener

I bought you a cradle
Loaded it on a carriage
Put you there to sleep
when your mood was not good,
Till the swaying stopped
Into a play pen
You landed next,
In a big-sized bed you crawled
With the dolls at your side.

Your mum cuddled you tight
As I slept by your toes,
Your cheeks puffed into dough
As I fed you your milk,
Your legs turned into barrels
As I scooped Gerber into your mouth,
Your hair thickened slowly
As mum washed it daily.

Your baby photos adorned
the walls of my wallet,
Your voice was captured on tape
which I played late at night,
Your shoe size I watched grew
Your dress size changed a lot
Your dolls n' your toys kept abreast of your height.

Me and mum didn't care
when we slept less and less,
And we didn't mind too
that we spent more on you,
We worked apart from each other
to feed and educate you,
We got lonely and old
But then, we had you.

God's little children
we parents love every bit of them,
So we don't get the reasoning behind this stupid RH Bil,
Those law makers who pushed them
will be consigned into the forgot'ten,
And those who opposed them
will be remembered forever.

Say NO to RH Bill
And say YES to God's little children.

What's in a Dress?

Our Lady of Angels Monastery and Shrine in Hanceville, Alabama

When we went on a pilgrimage to Hanceville, Alabama at the Our Lady of Angels Monastery years ago,  I remember that the Church provided jackets and even pants for those visitors not properly attired for church or mass.

Mass at EWTN (Eternal World Television Network) in Alabama, founded by Mother Angelica

You see, a lot of the pilgrims to the Monastery and the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament come from far away states and countries and a lot, during the summer months. So they're clad in shorts and tees; that's why the jacket and pants at the entrance to the Basilica.

I also remember an incident which took place a long time ago in a church in Sta. Ana when a priest refused to give communion to a friend who was wearing a "tube blouse."

What really is the proper way to dress for church?

Common church scene, circa 1950's, somewhere in Canada

At the Chapel of the Holy Eucharist at the Megamall in Mandaluyong, there is a poster at the door prominently showing parishioners the proper attire to wear in church.

Sunday mass - From an unknown source.

Quiapo Church in the Philippines,  circa 1890's. Photo shows how Filipinos dressed for church.

 Quiapo Church and church goers, circa 2012

In Manila, numerous complaints about skimpy attire in church have prompted the Archdiocese of Manila to issue guidelines for proper dress when attending Mass or other church services.

In 2007, the archdiocese began distributing posters on proper church attire in its parishes and shrines. These  posters were to be placed in areas where they are clearly visible.

“The posters clearly show how one can be properly dressed for church,” said Fr. Godwin Tatlonghari of the archdiocese's Ministry of Liturgical Affairs.

The guidelines indicate that women should not wear short skirts, skimpy shorts, sleeveless blouses, tank tops or spaghetti-strap tops and plunging necklines in church. Men should not wear caps, shorts and basketball jerseys. Instead, the archdiocese recommends women wear blouses, corporate or office attire, school uniforms or long dresses, while men should wear shirts, jeans or slacks.

Western Easter Sunday - from the past

One church goer said of the late Fr. John Robbins of the parish of St. Anne's in Houston, Texas. "Fr. John Robbins preached about dressing in church one Sunday, but his take on it was a little bit different.  He suggested that parishioners who worried about the way others were dressed were the ones who needed to adjust their attitudes. He said they should focus on the liturgy, not on the other congregants.

After he finished his homily, and was returning to his seat, someone started clapping; most of the congregation joined in. He looked over his shoulder at us and said, “I bet it was someone wearing shorts."

At the Holy Rosary Parish in Ohio which I used to go to, most of the men and women dressed conservatively for Sunday mass. During Easter, women even wore hats.  Men often wore suits. The youth usually came in sneakers and T-shirts of their favorite sports team but wore jeans and jackets.  A lot had dress shirts and dress pants. Of course there were exceptions.

At the Toronto church where I attend services, the congregants are a mixed population - Canadians, Filipino immigrants and immigrants from Eastern Europe, the Caribbean, India and the Middle East. But again, most dress on the proper side.

But come summertime, women and men tend to wear less because of the oppressive heat, and the priests tend to empathize with them.  Men usually wear casual shirts, dress shorts and women those "bermuda" shorts" which are just above the knee.

When we were kids, we always donned our "Sunday best" for Sunday masses, and on Christmas, New Year and even fiestas, I'd dare say the whole of the Philippines, wore their "pamburol," or the best in their wardrobe - new for most and if old,  always clean and well pressed. 

Davao Archbishop Fernando Capalla once said "Sunday best has become a common expression of people who know the value of the Sunday celebration and so those who pride themselves on self-respect choose the best for the Lord. I am not very sure now whether that passage in the Gospel where an invited guest was thrown out because he was not dressed properly, is applicable here. It seems it is," he added.

When in comes to jewelery, most churches, globally and locally, do not mention it in their dress codes.

Maybe that's because jewelery, especially for women, is part of fashion accessories;  even priests wear gold bracelets.

Wearing jewelery in churches is as normal as wearing wrist watches and is not obtrusive or a show off.

Present day Philippine church congregation

Personally,  I don't find it a distraction and I don't see them as an untoward act in their worship.

Showing a lot of skin for women is definitely a no no. But asking women or forbidding them not to wear an earring or a bangle or make up is also a no no.

I remember seeing a Lino Brocka film where two "manangs," or church ladies, instead of focusing on the liturgy, were whispering to each other about the high heeled shoes of the women who were kneeling at the front pew.

To continually intone on proper dressing is a distraction in itself and quite alienating. The low key approach - posting visuals at the church door showing the dress code could work better.

The Day of the Saints.

It is colloquially called Undas in the Philippines, this day referred to in Catholic Tradition as All Saints Day.  In the Philippines it is a National Holiday.

All Saints day, according to wikipedia, is a solemnity celebrated on November 1 by parts of Western Christianity, and the day after Pentecost by Eastern Christianity, in honour of all saints whether known or unknown.

This year we started Undas on the 30th of October.  We drove to Bulacan after the 6 am mass  and visited the graves of departed relatives at the Memorial Park. And yesterday, November 1st, we visited the graves of my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and nephew.

 
Photo of Manila American Cemetery and Memorial, courtesy of TripAdvisor

I remember going to the cemetery as a child early evenings and getting soaked going home. I remember walking carefully and avoiding little mounds of earth that were graves of certain individuals. I remember those stack up graves we called "apartments."

Poor man's cemetery in Manila

And I remember those big boys carrying globes of melted candles, parading them as if these were precious gems. Yes as a kid, I looked up to them as some sort of pirates out to maraud for hidden treasures in the grave yards.

In Mandaluyong, although traffic was re-routed and people amassed at the cemetery as early as All Saints' Eve, it was pretty orderly although we had to walk several blocks from the parking spot we found.

Lined in the street were tents of local volunteers handing out free bottled water, giving information to visitors, and at the entry to the cemetery, there was bag inspection.  The lady guard asked me, "meron po ba kayong dalang lighter?" (Did you bring any buthane lighers?).  It was not allowed, so were forks and knives, music systems and liquour.

In Toronto, All Saints Day is celebrated with a mass and private prayers for those who've gone ahead of us.

In Manila, gone are the days of loud music and party-like drinking at the grave sites. Thanks to the national and local governments for the orderly celebration of Undas.